The Noise We Make: A poem by Abigail Grace Higgins

Sonification... the auditory equivalent to scientific visualization. It began with a spoken word.
 Inspiration... our imprint surrendered.
 Expiration... a Triune breath blew forward, erupting expressions interpreted by the smallest component of an element known to our kind, cradled within its core...
A wave of sound. 
His spoken word crashed against the universe unbound.
 Frequencies were set in motion, yielding a jubilant explosion, His reverberations – a persistent reflection, a melodic notion. The hum of his glory resounds in our devotion. He has interwoven His children in acoustic complexities – everyday beings personified as His music in motion. Vibrations... Rhythms... Crescendos... 
Projecting the tone of His abiding love. 
This is the noise we make.

Delirious? Dreams? Noise we make?

Ever since the day I was saved, Delirious? was basically the only band I listened to. I remember singing "I could sing of Your love forever" way back in 1999. That was around the time when Hillsong's "Shout to the Lord" was very big in South Africa and probably the world. I was part of a youth outreach group at that time called "Service Year for Christ." We travelled the country and led worship at schools, camps and festivals. "Shout to the North" was also one of the big Delirious? songs back then. An anthem, proclaiming that "Jesus is Lord of all" was sung hundreds of times.

That got me hooked on the Cutting Edge. The first one I bought was Cutting Edge 3&4. Track 13 immediately took me to another place of worship.

This was Obsession.

"What can I do with my obsession?
With the things I cannot see
Is there madness in my being?
Is it wind that blows the trees?
Sometimes You're further than the moon
Sometimes You're closer than my skin
And You surround me like a winter fog
You've come and burned me with a kiss

And my heart burns for You
And my heart burns

And I'm so filthy with my sin
I carry pride like a disease
You know I'm stubborn God and I'm longing
to be close
You burn me deeper than I know
I feel lonely without hope
I feel desperate without vision
You wrap around me like a winter coat
You come and free me like a bird

And my heart burns for You"

With all the struggles I went through at that time I kept clinging onto this song. It always brought me back to, "and my heart burns for You." No matter how messed up I was and still am, my heart's desire is for Jesus. This fire has always been in my heart and no matter how I quench the flame it refuses to go out.

"Jesus' blood never fails me" and that is true to this day and it will continue to be true, forever. I held on to this song through the toughest of times. Always knowing and believing that the blood of Jesus will never fail me. Even when I felt like failing, I knew Jesus conquered by His blood and through that I could overcome.

These are just 2 examples of songs that changed my life. I admired their songwriting, the arrangements of the music, every part played by every musician. They inspired my own writing; formed the way I think about lyrics and music. They took me to an honest open place of writing my own love songs to God. They inspired me to do music. Their songs changed my life. A huge part of my walk with God included the intimate music of Martin Smith and Stu G. I don't know if this even gives you a remote idea of how big the impact is that these 5 guys had on this 1 life.

My dream had always been to open a show for Delirious? That was my big and crazy dream. Completely out of reach of this small town boy who cannot really sing or play guitar. How crazy was I to dream this?

Crazy enough that it almost happened. At 22 years old, I was leading worship at a Friday night youth gathering and a youth pastor from the church Delirious? would play at, on their South African tour, liked the worship so much that he was going to find out if our youth band could open for Delirious? at their venue. I was so excited. Just the thought of doing that already made me feel as if I had lived my dream. It was not to be because they already booked another band. It is good knowing that I came close though.

A couple of months after I decided to step out on the water and pursue music with everything I had, it was anounced that Delirious? was breaking up. The end of the most influencial christian band of our time. Even Joel Houston of Hillsong said that Delirious? influenced them immensely.

I sat there in front of the computer and my eyes welled up with tears that came straight from a broken heart. I was devastated. I couldn't stop crying for hours. It was like someone who I loved had died. It took all the composure I had to write Martin Smith an email, and even then my tears fell from my cheek onto the keyboard. I thanked Martin for the music they made and told him how it impacted my life and my relationship with God. I told him about the silly dream I had about opening a show for them. I don't remember anything else I said but I know it was a long email. I didn't think he would ever read it.

Three months later he replied and said the following, "Never give up on your dream." So I didn't.

Forward years later until the present day. I recorded an album that Stu G, Delirious' guitarist, played on - telling me how he likes the songs I wrote. Jaci Velasquez sang "We'll Tell the World" with me and will be performing in the music video for it as well. She told me she believes in me, after I've been a fan of hers since 1998 when "God so loved the world" was released.

I am nothing else but grateful. I do not understand this at all. I am a small town boy from the Free State in South Africa and have never been exceptional at anything. All I have is a passion for making music for God. I also had a dream. I also never gave up. I have not arrived anywhere but I am living a dream and I am grateful for God blessing me abundantly, for Jesus' blood never failing me, for being my obsession in times when He felt further than the moon and for the times He was closer than my skin.

So... What is my point in all this?

I think I'll let Mr. Martin Smith have the final word:

"Never give up on your dream!"




(I still dream of doing a song with Martin)

The guide to writing a worship song

After 15 years of being a song writer, studying some of the best song writers and having many of my songs sung in churches around the world and having the songs on albums and on the radio, I have learned that this is the only way to write a truly great worship song.

1.  Get a hook

2.  Find amazing lyrics. Use flawless language

3.  Work out a rhyme scheme

4.  Write an amazing melody

5.  Put the harmony to the melody

6.  Arrange the song magnificently

7.  Don't use a hook

8.  Use simple lyrics or no lyrics. Use elementary language

9.  Don't use a rhyme scheme

10.  Write a simple, monotonous melody or don't use a melody.

11.  Don't use harmony

12.  No arrangement is needed

13.  Love God

14.  Let this love be your song

15.  Always sing this song to others

Sitting on the sidewalk

Ever since I started playing the guitar during a youth year, 12 years ago, my heart has always yearned for praise and worship.  Using my new found "talent" for the glory of God, I always found a way to play guitar and sing for God.  Whether it was in my bedroom, at camps, in church or at the school where I taught.  God and my guitar were always synonymous in my life.  I realised at 19 years of age, that I wanted to live my life leading people in worship.  I wanted to write songs that resounded of what God meant to me.

At a stage, that was all that I wanted to do and I wanted to do it immediately.  I wanted to give up everything to pursue my dream.  Wasn't prepared to let anything get in my way.  Fortunately, my wonderful parents' will prevailed.  They wanted me to study.  Get a degree. Get security.  I was reluctant, but obeyed.  Thank God I did.  Even though I hated most of the studies, I endured, even though I wanted to leave it all "for the glory of God".

It wouldn't have been for God's glory, but my own.  I thought I was only studying to be a teacher... little did I know that I was studying "character" at the university of life.  I obtained my degree and taught for 4 wonderful years, still involved in church, camps and the children at the school.  I never let go of the fire in my being, but used it where I was at that time.

The season ended and I knew that God wanted me to move on.  I was ready.  I quit my secure job, left my home, my great friends, everything I knew and after weeks of crying and uncertainty, I ended up in Pretoria.

That was the background to the main part of the story.

Here comes the main part:

So, here I am to make music.  I had no idea where to begin.  So I started teaching guitar.  I played guitar in a successful theatre production, and toured the country with a famous artist for a couple of months.  That all happened in 3 years.  I didn't have much.  I struggled.  Many months I would not have food to eat.  I tried to give up so many times, but never gathered the courage to do so.  God always provided.  He was faithful.
I felt like a complete failure most of the time but there were glimpses of hope in every dire moment and that's why I never gave up.  I guess it's because I always believed.  Our job is to have faith... God's job is to be faithful.

So... I recorded a demo in year 3. Took 4 of my songs and recorded.  The biggest portion of my income went into that.  After all the hard work, I sent it to a couple of radio stations and record companies.  After 3 months, I only received rejections.  Nobody wanted it.

So, one evening at around 18:00 I was hungry.  I drove to the nearest pizzaria and ordered... something with chicken, I think.  I still remember that day so clearly. I ordered and went outside.

I found myself sitting on the sidewalk. I was crying.  I was at the end of my rope. No hope.  No purpose.  I couldn't see a future anymore. I decided that I would go back to Bloemfontein and try to get a job again as a teacher.  I told God that I failed.

The phone rang. It was the owner of the record company.  He said that they liked the music and would like to record me.  I was still crying after that call, but only because of God's timing.  He never gave up, even though I wanted to.  He knew the plans He had for me.

Each one of us, at a time in our lives, will be at a place where we will sit on the sidewalk without knowing where to go.  Without a glimmer of hope. Sitting somewhere in your life where a cry of desperation is all you have left. Just know that there is a call that is waiting for you.  That call will come.  God's call on your life will remain and He will wait until You are ready to answer.

So, when that time comes. When you have answered the call.  Stand up and shout it out on the street corners.  Let your life shout for the glory of God.

We've got the power

Can't believe it.  Yesterday I wrote about the simplicity in which we need to be able to worship God.  With no frills but only with pure hearts.  That is what God is looking for.  People to worship Him in spirit and in truth.

Tonight at church, we lost power.  All power.  The staff and volunteers tried everything they could to get the power back on.  People were praying non-stop.  Praying for a miracle.  Praying for power.

Everything was off when we got there for rehearsal an hour and a half before church started.  We couldn't rehearse cause we had no power.  The sound system was silent.  The lights were dark.  Time slowly moved along as it always does.  It became time to improvise.  We would have no electric instruments to use, so our leader, Rhulani Garrine, said we need to play with acoustic guitars.  Now playing with a couple of unplugged acoustic guitars in front of a thousand people to lead worship might have been a tricky thing, but God came through using people.  They got enough power to run the stage lights and they fetched an old PA system from somewhere in storage.  The miracle started as people were still praying.  There was power.

Twenty minutes before the service started, 5 of us organised acoustic guitars, changed the list and we plugged into the small PA system, with our 3 worship leaders.  The choir also appeared and gave life to the stage.  We were set.  Where we usually have visuals and lyrics on screen, there was nothing.  All the moving lights were motionless. The sound system was much smaller than usual. No drums, no bass, no keyboards. Nothing fancy.  Only 5 acoustics and 3 singers... and hungry hearts for God.

It was such an amazing experience worshiping like that for 30 minutes.  People were pouring out their hearts into the arms of God.  Nothing could stop us.  We had the power.  We were unstoppable.  We were in this war and we were set on winning.  It was about people getting saved.

The music ministry team in unity

The pastor preached a great message and Rhulani did the altar call.  It was amazing.  So many people gave their lives to Jesus.  We had won.  We always win. 1 John 4:4 "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."


I sat in the dark praying beforehand, and I knew something special was going to happen tonight.  Just before we started I told Rhulani that I think God is going to do something amazing.  He did.  God works best when we are not perfect. He works best when we are empty.  His light shines brightest in the dark and that's what happened.  He shone.

Jesus Disciples

Blog number 2. This is starting to become fun.  Couldn't wait to get to the pc and write about my day.  This was an amazing experience.  It's about church... about buildings... about people... All those things and how it links up with God.

The background:

Yesterday I was asked to play some songs acoustically at Jesus Disciples in Kempton Park. Andre told me that it was for a some of his friends, so  I was quite relaxed.  Didn't think too much of it.  Thought maybe 4 songs. Done. This morning when we spoke again, 5 hours before the "gig".  He told me that it was a church event and there would be a couple of people performing as well as a band.  That's when I started to stress.  So I grabbed my acoustic and started to plan a 30-40 minute set. Lined up a couple of songs from my album as well as some older praise and worship songs.  

When I arrived there, it was a small church building, not even a building, with about 50 chairs packed outside the building.  It used to be a rustic bar, and the christian bikers who originally were on the property next door, prayed for them to go out of business.  So it happened. Just as they prayed. (Ask and you will receive)

Jesus Disciples' church

The experience:

There were probably about 40 people at the event and it started with a girl on her acoustic singing with 3 of her friends.  She was playing a Ritmuller and hasn't been playing for so long. They were singing "Shout to the Lord", "Lord I lift Your name on high" and a couple of songs they wrote. The sound was giving a lot of feedback.  Some harmonies were out, guitar chords sounded out of tune and rhythm was lacking, but none of that mattered.  They were worshiping God.  They were giving the best they have.  That's all that we have to give. God deserves our best. No matter at what level our best is.



Inside the church



Then it was my turn.  I started teaching them "None like You",  "All I do" and then it was time for "Look what the Lord has done"(an oldie but a favourite of mine).  People were standing, singing and praising God. I sang "On my knees" followed by "I could sing of Your love forever", then "Saved" and "He loves us". I prayed a prayer and ended with "My redeemer lives".

It was me, a mic, an acoustic guitar and not the best sound.  There were no lights. No screens. No fancy visual effects.  No smoke machines.  But guess what... The people didn't care. They were worshiping God.  When I sang "Saved" there were people crying.  God was there.  He doesn't need fancy equipment to touch lives in worship.  He doesn't need the best singers to get the message across.  He doesn't need a huge building.

I think some of us have become spoiled in church.  I have and it's wrong and for that I repent.  Today was one of the best worship experiences I have had in a long time.  Being in the presence of bikers in a small, one room building with two fireplaces. 

After it all I sat in the presence of a guy that went to jail at 19, accused of 40 counts of murder, drug trafficking and soliciting prositutes.  God saved him.  This guy changes lives with his testimony in schools and wherever he goes. 

So the thing I want to say is: 

We don't need lights and great sound to worship.  We don't need to belong to a big church to change lives.  We need to be Jesus' followers.  He saved us no matter who we were so that no matter where we are, we can be the difference.

A whisper can be heard throughout the world

Blog post number 1.  I have been thinking about blogging for a while.  Everybody's doing it... I think.  Peer pressure is a horrible thing, and I have succumbed to it, again. So this is me... trying to be deep.

My debut album has been released a couple of months ago, and releasing it was the easy part.  I never thought that I'd have to work this hard to get my music heard.  It's not really my music. I wrote it for God.  It's His love songs. Like Jars of Clay put it so aptly, "Love songs for a Saviour".  It's about Him.  Having His name glorified.  Getting people from all over the world to fall in love again with their true Love.

Have you ever shouted and realised that no one was listening?  Have you ever whispered and found that every word was being heard by Someone?  God hears your whispers and your shouts. He knows.  You are always connected to Him.  The connection is never down. There is no interference.  David wrote in Psalm 139:1-6(The message): 

^1-6 God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.
I'm an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I'm never out of your sight.
You know everything I'm going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you're there,
then up ahead and you're there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can't take it all in!

This scripture changed my life, but this is not what I want to focus on today.  Today is not about our channel to God. Today I am writing about another frequency.

If we think about technology and the way that it has changed our lives.  Television, radio, cellphones and the internet.  It has made this enourmous planet of ours so small.  We are able to, within seconds, communicate with people from around the world.  Technology, in audio/visual form, has enabled us to transmit any message across the globe.  There is a word that needs to be transmitted all over the world. That word is love. God is love. That word is God

Microphones on street corners is about us being the audio and visual transmitters of our time.  The message is love and hope.  God is the voice and we are His microphones.  He speaks and we transmit via the frequency of faith. 

If you whisper or if you shout over a microphone, people all over the world can hear.  We whisper when we share something intimate and we shout when we proclaim something majestic.  The microphone gets the message across.

Jesus said in Luke 4:18-19: ¹⁸ “The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
¹⁹ to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

God is the hope of the world and we carry the message.  Whether you shout with joy or whisper intimately, you transmit.  Never stop.